Magic and Mischief
by DalkonCledwin
Summary: She was destined to be the savior of people who didn't appreciate her. He was the brother of the future ruler of the gods of ancient Scandinavia. Watch now, as their paths collide and the tapestry of fate changes in unexpected ways. - Abandoned, I forgot this fic even existed and have no idea what to do with it


**Disclaimer: **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. Only the original characters and plot are the property of this author. This author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media or franchise that is depicted within this story. No copyright infringement is intended, as there will be no profit made from this story by its author. The only places that this author has personally posted this story are on Archive of Our Own, and on Fanfiction*net; anywhere else that this story appears, is a duplicate created by parties unknown and without the express permission of the author of this story.

**xXx Magic and Mischief xXx  
xXx Ch. 01: Crash Into Hello xXx**

* * *

Iris Potter found herself being hurled off her feet as a tornado seemed to materialize out of thin air in her direct path within Little Whinging. The only thing that saved her from grievous injury being that she was simply more resilient that most people on account of the fact that she had both phoenix tears and basilisk venom flowing through her veins and acting to heal her almost as quickly as she could be injured.

Just as suddenly as the tornado had appeared, it spontaneously vanished, and Iris sat up while saying "Bloody hell!"

"My thoughts exactly, although I'd have chosen a different imprecation," a voice remarked from somewhere beyond her blurry vision. The voice was suave, cultured and all those things that the boys of Wizarding Britain could just never be.

Once her vision cleared enough that she could see who it was that had spoken to her, she had but one thing to say, "You clearly aren't an angel, so why are you falling out of Heaven?"

The man who she was addressing was barely dressed for one thing, he had on a pair of trousers and not much else, but given the fact that he was absolutely gorgeous from her personal point of view, she didn't quite care how he was dressed. The man eyed her curiously for a moment before taking in the fact that she was looking at his chest and not his face, so he looked down and muttered, "Oh, well that just figures."

"My eyes are up here," he remarked after a moment while snapping the fingers of one of his hands next to said organs.

This had the effect of causing Iris to smirk and say, "Your point being what exactly?"

Loki Odinson raised an eyebrow at that, and said, "No point really, so long as you plan on returning the favor." That had her eyes immediately flitting up to meet his own even as she began blushing in embarrassment. "Now, as you have rightly deduced, I am no angel, but it is also true that I'm from a, well a higher realm as it seems. You don't seem surprised by this turn of events…"

"Meeting you is likely the highlight of my summer, but it is hardly the most exciting thing I've ever had to deal with in my life. You don't come anywhere close to being as exciting as the time I killed a basilisk using a sword that, to the snake in question, might as well have been a toothpick," Iris countered.

Loki felt one of his eyes beginning to twitch, this girl had just claimed to have performed the very stunt that his brother happens to have a prophecy claiming he will one day need to perform, and yet here she is alive and well. "I assume there is a piece of your story you left out explaining your survival, isn't there?"

"Oh! Um, well I'm sort of friends with a phoenix…" Iris admitted as she sheepishly rubbed one of her cheeks.

Loki nodded in understanding. The tears of a phoenix could cure almost anything, though those tears would have little to no effect against Jormungandr's venom the combination of those tears with basilisk venom would likely protect her from the Midgard Serpent. "In any event, I seem to be stuck here for the foreseeable future, with no support to be offered from those who normally would support me…"

Iris frowned at the man, "I suppose that means you are hoping I might have a way of supporting you then?"

Loki tilted his head to the side, and said, "Well the thought had occurred to me…"

Standing from where she had landed, Iris suddenly yelled out "KREACHER!"

She had no idea if her godfather's elf would answer her now that Sirius had passed away, but better to figure this out now than to wait for someone from the Order to turn up and offer their insight on the matter.

After a moment where she thought he might not answer a slight popping sound informed her of the elf's arrival, at which point it said, "What can Kreacher be doing for filthy half-blood Mistress?"

Loki turned and regarded the creature who had just spoken, and found that once again, one of his eyebrows was twitching. "What… what is that?"

Iris snickered at him and said, "That is a he, or at least… you are a he, right Kreacher?"

Kreacher slowly nodded his head in agreement, to which Iris said, "As to what he is, well he's my House Elf apparently…"

"That… is not what an elf looks like!" Loki exclaimed in mortification.

"Well no," Iris agreed, "I'm more than a little convinced that the species was originally referred to by the name of 'Brownies' or in other words, they are related to leprechauns but often tied to a family." She then regarded Kreacher and asked, "Can you take my new friend to where it is you live and in doing so, bypass the Fidelius?"

Kreacher sneered before extending both hands, "Kreacher be taking you bothses."

Iris took one of his proffered hands and then looked at Loki expectantly. Loki hesitated a moment before resignedly taking the other, "I do want it known that ordinarily I can teleport myself to where it is I wish to go. However, as this location is apparently hidden by a spell I am familiar with, I will allow your brownie to convey us to our destination."

Iris rolled her eyes at him, if she had thought her aunt or uncle would have reacted to her bringing an older boy home with her better than she knew they would, she'd have taken him back to No 4. Sadly, neither Vernon or Petunia understood the meaning of the word 'tact', nor had they realized their niece was actually interested in boys yet or that boys would be interested in her. Dudley however, had figured out the latter part of that equation and become scarily overprotective instead of retaining the hostility of their formative years.

Kreacher too, rolled his eyes, before pulling them through the equivalent to Apparition that the species most magicals refer to as House Elves preferred to utilize.

* * *

"FILTH! SCUM! How dare you show your faces within the house of my forefathers…"

"If you don't shut up this instant, you harpy, I'll hedge your portrait in with blue bell flames and then hit it with the incendio charm!" Iris roared as soon as she realized Walburga had anticipated their arrival.

Walburga took in a breath and was about to continue when Loki dashed forward and shoved his fist through her face, which in turn caused it to go through the plaster of the wall behind her. "Much more satisfying, don't you think?"

"MISTRESS!" Kreacher bellowed in shock as he began firing off spells that seemed to be having no effect on Loki.

"Do you mind?" Loki inquired as he slowly turned around to look at the House Elf.

Iris was snickering at him and said, "You see the difference here, is that Kreacher can't actually attack me. You aren't a member of the family, so he can attack you… or at least he can until I do this: Kreacher, I order you to stop attacking my guest."

Kreacher immediately stopped hurling balls of condensed magical energy at Loki before grumbling out that his new mistress was a kill-joy or something that sounded remarkably similar to that. He then disappeared from the room. Once he had, Iris said, "For what it's worth, that would have been the second thing I would have wanted to try if the incineration tactic hadn't actually worked."

From there, Iris simply led Loki around the house, showing him what rooms were nominally safe, and which ones were not. At one point Loki had to pause and stare at a display which contained a locket but neither said or did anything to convey what he believed both the locket and Iris' scar to be.

Eventually they found themselves seated in the kitchen at which point Iris asked, "So who are you really?"

"_I am the mother of Odin's stallion, Sleipnir. I am the father of Fenrir Sun-Eater, and of _[...] _Jormungund the World-Serpent. I am Loki Scar-Lip, Loki Skywalker, Loki Giant's Child, Loki Lie-Smith. I am Loki, who is fire and wit and hate. I am Loki. And I will be under an obligation to no one."_

Immediately after declaring that, Loki's face drained of all color as he watched Iris begin snickering as she said, "You are... a horse's mother?!"

"I didn't intend to tell you any of that…" Loki drawled, "And Scar-Lip? Skywalker? What?"

Iris was once again laughing her head off. Eventually she got her hysterics under control and said, "The scar-lip thing has got to have something to do with the subsequent title of 'Lie-Smith', as for 'Skywalker', it is the surname of one of the most iconic movie heroes in recent history, at least as far as the people on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean are concerned."

She then stood up and walked over to the fireplace, before plucking a tin off the top of the mantle. "Thank heavens someone thought to replace the old tin of floo powder." With that said she plucked a pinch of 'sand' from within it and tossed it into the fireplace while calling out "Wolf's Den" and sticking her head into the green flames that burst out of nowhere.

Loki was now staring at her like she was insane, as Floo Powder wasn't something he had ever encountered before. Moments later however, she pulled her head out of the fireplace without so much as a singe to show for the fact that she had been consumed in flames all but a second ago, and moments later a man followed her through the flames, and promptly said, "You, you are Loki, god of mischief?"

"Who wants to know?" Loki wondered.

"I happen to be one of four purveyors of aids to magical mischief-makers," Remus Lupin remarked blandly. "And I'm also the only one of those four individuals who is both alive and completely loyal to Iris."

Remus then turned to regard Iris, "I have to point out that he could still be a Death Eater…"

"When was the last time you've heard of Death Eaters traveling from one place to another using… actually…" Iris hesitated as she turned to look at Loki, "I thought the Norse gods traveled from realm to realm via a rainbow bridge?"

Loki scowled, "That… well that's what that was. I just don't entirely remember what led to me being sent to Midgard. Usually when father does this, he strips an Aesir of their powers, but I seem to still have most, if not all, of mine."

Iris frowned as she considered that for a moment before shaking her head and asking her honorary uncle, "When was the last time you saw a Death Eater traveling from place to place using the method Dorothy did to get to Oz, Moony?"

Remus opened his mouth, then closed it, before asking, "You mean as in to say…"

"An honest to goodness tornado, even if a short lived one; not an Apparition vortex," Iris agreed.

"Well, that would be never, which means I have but one request. Keep me out of any prank wars you and the God of Pranks wind up initiating, especially if the Twins get involved. I've officially retired from that vocation."

"Duly noted," both Iris and Loki agreed. Once Remus had returned home, Loki turned an inquisitive eyebrow towards Iris, "And just who are these twins?"

"Gred and Forge Weasley, pranking geniuses, and your greatest fanboys," Iris remarked, "Now I'm going to bed, ta." As she walked out, Iris made sure to sway her hips in as seductive a manor as she could, knowing that Loki was watching her leave.

* * *

Not long after the person on watch at the Dursley residence was replaced by the next person assigned to watch the residence, it became clear to the Order that Iris had flown the coop. The fact that she had done so while Mundungus Fletcher was tasked with watching the property was likely why she had managed to avoid discovery any earlier than four hours after the fact. As for what alerted the new watcher, well it was their rather mad eye.

It was during the subsequent meeting of the Order of the Phoenix that any remaining doubt in Loki's honesty about where he came from was dispelled from within Remus' mind, as the first thing Severus Snape said was that, "The Dark Lord does not know where she is, nor would he have authorized her capture at this point in time."

"Would you care to elaborate on what makes you believe that to be the case?" their leader, Albus Dumbledore inquired with a curious expression on his face.

"He had been attempting to perform a ritual that would call down the aid of a deity who has been associated with the House of Slytherin since antiquity, the Norse God of Deception." Snape remarked, "Only it seems not to have worked."

With that one statement, Remus decided not to mention Iris' new house guest or her current whereabouts, and was damn glad no one could drag it out of his mind using Legilimency. His decision had nothing to do with whether or not he believed Loki to be on their side, and everything with how terrifying he knew Iris could be if properly provoked. She was one of only two people who scared his inner-wolf so far, with her mother being the other.

Nope, the only people Remus planned on telling about Iris' location were the other members of her family that he was on good terms with. Namely Andromeda, Theodore, and Nym…

"You better not be about to think what I think you are about to begin thinking," another member of the Order of the Phoenix remarked, proving she had noticed the fact that he had just glanced in her direction.

"Would you be okay with me calling you, 'Dora' from now on?" Remus inquired, even as the two of them stood to leave the meeting that they had no interest in being part of anymore.

"Agree to a date, and I'll give you that luxury," Nymphadora Tonks replied even as she noticed him grimace. "I'm not afraid of the big bad wolf."

* * *

By the next morning, Loki still hadn't managed to work out what it was he had done to warrant being banished to Midgard, at least he had no idea what it was he had done this time, at any rate. It wasn't like this was the first time he had been banished in such a manner, but usually such banishments involved him being forced to live as a mortal for a period of time lasting between a few weeks up to an entire mortal lifespan. However he already knew he had most, if not all, of his powers upon arriving on Midgard, so that couldn't be what was going on.

The fact that he had landed right in front of Iris Potter, who he had thankfully introduced herself while she was showing him around the property, even if she didn't ask him to do the same at that time, was at first blush, entirely coincidental. However, now that he had spent an entire night simply trying to think the situation over, he had to assume she would be central in what he was meant to do.

Regardless of what he knew he had to ask her however, all rational thought vanished from his mind the instant he entered the kitchen and discovered her having an argument with Kreacher over who would cook the morning meal, while wearing nothing more than an apron to preserve her modesty.

Suddenly the entire scene crystallized and shattered into millions of pieces, only to reveal Iris standing a few feet to the left of where her illusory double had been wearing a smirk on her Iris was dressed in slim jeans and a blouse, which while still enticing, was nowhere near as shocking as her illusion had been for Loki.

"What's that they say, 'All's fair in love and war'?" Iris remarked while moving over to the stove and continuing what she had been doing when she heard him descending the stairs.

"I should warn you, pranking the god of mischief is usually not a good idea," Loki admitted, "It only leads to embarrassment."

Iris rolled her eyes, "Is that so? Well, I happen to be the only princess of the royal family of the kingdom of Mischief Management."

Iris' face then scrunched up in confusion even though Loki couldn't see it with her back to him, '_What the hell?'_

"So it is to be a prankster's courtship, is it?" Loki wondered, and though he couldn't see it, Iris blushed quite severely at the suggestion.

"Right, well breakfast is served. Do you need me to taste it for you so that you know I haven't potioned or poisoned you? Not that it would help you much, I'm more or less immune to such things."

"Asgardians are immune to most mortal toxins, and I doubt you've had the time to acquire a potion with which to attempt subverting my mind, not that it'd get you anywhere as I have incredibly strong mental defenses," Loki admitted with a tone of pride. He then took a look at the porridge and toast she had placed in front of hm, and said, "On that note, if I were my brother, I'd be insulted by such meager offerings, as it is, I simply…"

"Try a bit of the porridge before digging your grave any deeper," Iris growled out.

Knowing better than to argue, Loki did as he was asked, then blinked and stared at the bowl of porridge with some surprise. "This porridge defies logic. It is almost as good tasting as one of Idunna's apples…"

"And what have we learned?" Iris wondered.

"To never insult a woman's cooking when she is providing you shelter out of the kindness of her heart," Loki drawled.

They lapsed into a comfortable silence from their as they each went about breaking their morning fast. However eventually, Loki asked the question that had been bugging him ever since Mister Lupin had left, "Who are these 'Death Eaters,' and what made your friend accuse me of being such a person?"

Iris finished chewing on the bit of toast she had been in the process of eating when he asked the question so as to buy her some time to think of a way to explain the situation. Eventually she decided on saying, "Death Eaters are a group of witches and wizards who have only two commonalities shared between them. Their fear of the man who is trying to kill me, and their belief that being able to say they have no mundane ancestors as far back as can realistically traced instantly makes them superior to anyone who has such ancestors. Their also the sort of people who would likely prefer to be romantically involved with other Europeans, with an even higher preference on other British Pure-Bloods."

"Are they trying to wipe themselves out?" Loki wondered in a bemused tone of voice.

"I doubt any of them have any idea why it is that more and more squibs, that is to say mundane people with magical parentage, are being born within their families. Nor are they likely to be aware of why many of them are born looking like a Troll's behind rather than as any idealized image of beauty."

"I take it, you aren't one of these 'pure-bloods' you are describing then?" Loki inquired.

"My mother was the first witch in her family that she had ever heard of, while my father was a Pure-Blood family that was known to be sympathetic towards muggles and muggleborns. I'm connected to the House of Black through my father's mother. I also look virtually identical to my mother. Both my parents died while trying to protect me from the madman that is the leader of the Death Eaters when I was barely more than a year old."

"There's more to this than you are telling me," Loki pointed out. Her description of the attack made it clear that Iris had been the one the madman had been after, not her parents. That accidental admission on her part, also acted as confirmation on just what the locket was, and what the foreign magic in her scar likely was.

"Yes, well what I just told you is basically common knowledge in Wizarding Britain. Unfortunately, most of this country has also come to the conclusion that they don't have to fight this madman or his followers, because I'll do all the work for them."

Loki was now completely convinced he was going to be playing the part of Knight in Shining Armor in the relationship he now found himself forming. Iris was clearly a damsel in distress and she didn't even seem to realize it. In fact, if Loki was right, she was the sort of damsel who would be offended if he made an overt attempt to save her life the way Thor would likely have done. No, Iris was the sort of girl for whom a more subtle form of protection would be necessary.

**xXx Chapter Concluded xXx**

**Author's Note:** This story was inspired by and named after the 'Magic and Mischief' challenge posted on Whitetigerwolf's forum by Purple 'N' Blue Wings. He has asked for a fic where Fem!Harry is paired with Loki because he hasn't seen it all too often, if at all. Frankly, I haven't seen such a pairing all too often either.

Due to the fact that I have encountered writers block after getting 1420 words into the second chapter of this story, I will instead be using this first chapter to act as a prompt to anyone who wishes to take up the aforementioned challenge, and also as a request for more Fem!Harry/Loki stories to be written. This is why I gave it it's own story entry, rather than putting it into my archives, and also why it says it is completed, which it really isn't so long as someone picks it up. If someone does pick it up however, I want to be informed of both that fact and when they get the first chapter posted so i can follow it =D

The quote Loki used to describe himself to Iris was taken from the Sandman comics by Neil Gaiman, while the one Iris used to say she was his equal was a modification of one from Peaky Blinders to describe Ada Shelby


End file.
